I'm prettier than you are.
Friday, 23 August 2002
Deal-Breakers, Part Deux

Stop! Thief!

But hey, at least she admits it. And gives me credit. A classy dame, this one.

Technically, however, she is not a thief, because she did not intend to escape notice.

* * *

This reminds me of a guy I went out with in the very late '80s. Let's just call him "Trey" (not his real name, of course). Trey was (and still is) a lawyer, about eight years older than I. He was well-educated, -read, -travelled, and lived in a very well-"appointed" apartment on a tree-lined block in Center City Philadelphia. He was extremely intelligent and had an excellent vocabulary and a strange (in a good way) sense of humor.

One night we were in a dimly lit restaurant, drinking quite a bit of wine. We were getting a bit giddy thanks, in great part, to the wine, but also to the anticipation of doing something we hadn't yet done (no, I will not spell it out for you). I don't know what we were discussing. I do know that I said something like, "That guy is such a thief" or "That guy was robbed". I don't remember exactly what I said or what the context was. Nonetheless, I used either "thief" or "robber" in my description of a situation. (Let's just say, for purposes of this story, that I said "thief".) It didn't matter. It shouldn't have mattered. But to Trey, it did.

"Well, actually, Jodi," he said, "technically he isn't a thief."

Without pausing to see if I was actually interested (I wasn't), he continued.

"It's only thievery if his intention was to escape notice. There's a difference between thievery, robbery, and burglary. Robbery is the act of unlawfully taking someone else's property by the use of force or violence. And burglary involves the entering of a building with the intent to commit theft. So you see ..."

And his tongue wagged on ... and on ... but nowhere near mine.

We didn't wind up "doing" anything later that night, but I almost wish he would have asked for some sort of "action". Because then I could have responded in kind.

"Now, are you saying you want to 'make love', 'have sex,' or 'fuck'? Because technically, Trey, there's a difference ..."

fresh-baked at 07:11 PM

Too much/A little
knowledge is a dangerous thing.

Offered by: Don on August 24, 2002 01:58 AM

I may have mentioned this before, if so I aplogise.

I have a (quite good) friend, with whom I not only worked and socialised, but even went on vacation for two weeks.

He was a good friend who was 'there' for me on a number of occasions, however, about two years ago he developed a condition I call, "Galloping Foggyitis".

To explain. Foggy was a character in a British sit-com, who spent the whole time, blindly lecturing his poor sidekicks, with his knowledge of absolutely-fucking-everything.

Of course, as you'll have guessed, he would espouse expertise on matters he knew little or nothing about. He wouldn't give up, even when it was obvious that he didn't know what he was talking about.

So, my friend has become known, between other friends and I, as Foggy.

I think the nearest US equivalent is Cliff Claven on Cheers, however, Cliff tended to just dish out anecdotes rather than full-on lectures.

This friend of mine, not only gives lectures on his opinions regarding all matters, he even likes to go on and suggest where his victim is going wrong.

Being the laid-back person I am, I'm still in touch with this friend, as he's not like this 24/7.

News has recently reached me, however, that another friend is developing Foggyitis.

What the fuck happens to these previously normal people that they turn into such lecturing bores?

Offered by: Max on August 24, 2002 02:26 AM

Perhaps that should have been another deal-breaking point:

* Lawyers.


I had to consult dictionary.com to verify my own usage here. True enough, while the post was "stolen" (2. To get or effect surreptitiously or artfully - given that you didn't know I was going to do it, and I didn't announce it in your comments, I'd call that surreptitious), I am not a "thief," nor even a "plagiarist," since I did cite my source and use my own words.

But that very nearly sounds like the beginning of a lecture. And my head is starting to hurt where the cop whacked me one.

Offered by: revolution9 on August 24, 2002 10:13 AM

i got my layout stolen by a friend without giving me any credit. that sucks, but well ... things happen :) if someone stole something from us, that shows that we rock! :)) 'nyway, haikublog is back :)

Offered by: Tiara on August 24, 2002 12:49 PM